Rooted

As a parent I've found a new appreciation for God.

I was raised in a Christian home. I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't believe in God. Don't get me wrong, my faith has wavered and I've asked many questions of God and others on my path. But today my faith is strong and I pray that it continues to grow.

I find my faith rooted these days in just how present God truly is in my, and I like to think our, lives. I see Him more now, I think, that I have a child. I cannot help but see all the growth she is going through as a miraculous event that occurs in every human's life. From conception to her first kick in utero, from her first smile to her first step, from her first babble to her first words the human experience is awe inspiring. She advances so quickly. Just 27 months ago she was a single cell. Now she is a running toddler learning new things everyday...literally.

She's saying lots of words these days. Here are just a few (because I know you want to know):

Mama and Dada (which have changed to mommy and daddy just this week)
out
up
down
dog
plane
weeeeee
juice
milk
please
bird
book
pretzel
cookie
cup
water
tree
turtle
fish

She loves to run in circles and squeal. She loves, loves, loves to play outside in her sand box and kiddie pool. She loves to write with chalk and any other writing tool we'll give her. She likes to paint. She likes to watch cartoons. She likes to spin. She loves to tumble around on the bed, and the floor, and the couch. She's learning how to do puzzles on the computer. She's just a little ball of growing knowledge and I never know when she's going to look at me and repeat a word that's seemingly just too big for her little head.

I hope it never gets old. I hope I always see God's presence in my life. I hope that Gracie will feel His presence too and one day accept the grace he offers through His son. I pray for strength and wisdom to help her on this journey of life.

Note to Gracie:

You are talking in your crib right now. I guess that means nap time is over. Sometimes this job (being your mom) is hard. I rest in the fact that this job is my most favorite. It is my most fulfilling. It is my most enjoyable. It is my most rewarding. I love you and always will!

In the Arms of Love

I have come to my blog several times over the past few months to try and write but have left unable to put "pen to paper." I'm not sure why. I can only imagine that maybe I didn't have much to say. Today...God gave me something to say.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

I taught this verse in a kindergarten class at church last quarter (the kids learned the shortened version, "In all things God works for good") and have been convicted by just how powerful a promise it is. I am trying to make it my motto. It's easy to trust when things are great. I am praying now that I will remember it when the hardships come. Because they always do.

For now, I rest in the arms of my Savior. I find peace in knowing that He knows me. I feel His arms around me daily. He is big enough to hold the world and yet He wraps me in the tiniest little arms to remind me of just how much He cares for His children. You see, when Gracie holds me in her arms and squeezes tight...I SEE GOD.

Note to Gracie:

You are like a little bit of Heaven on earth. I see your smile and light up. I hear your laugh and laugh with you. I watch you learn and I am in awe of God's creation.

Gracie Can Moo, Can You?

I haven't been writing much these days. Mostly because I just don't know what to write about. There is so much going on in Gracie's life. Sometimes I look up and she's doing or saying something new and I think to myself, "When did she learn that?" Sometimes I feel bad that I missed it and then I realize that I didn't, that I am in fact witnessing my little girl have an "aha!" moment.

She is so smart. I know all parents say that but I think they all should. I think that our children should experience our unwavering amazement at who they are on a daily basis. I think that there is a time and place for us to teach them about the real world and that it's not fair and that we occasionally fail and all that "weighty" stuff; but for right now Gracie will know that she is in fact created by God and is therefore created for good and in that way she is perfect. Don't get me wrong...she cries and whines and doesn't eat her vegetables, but she is still perfect in my eyes and in His eyes. We, who are saved by His grace, all are.

Gracie can moo, can you? She's in a book phase right now. She picks a book and brings it to me. Then she turns around and backs into my lap in order for story time to begin. Sometimes it only lasts for a few minutes but each time is so sweet. Her favorite book right now is Richard Scarry's the Animals of Farmer Jones. It goes through all of the animals on the farm and the noises that they make as they are ready for "supper time on the farm." Just yesterday on our way to a friends house I was asking Gracie what sounds the animals make. Until then the only one she would do was "wuff, wuff" for the dog (which is only right since we have a dog in the house). But yesterday she amazed me by actually answering when I asked about the cow. She doesn't actually say the "M". She puts her lips together and just lets a little "oooo" out but it is definitely a moo. And if I wasn't certain yesterday then today it was confirmed. The first time she brought the book to me today we started through the story and as soon as I got to the cow page I read, "The cow jangles her bell." and Gracie immediately mooed. Oh the joy that abounded in my heart. My little girl can moo!

I find great happiness in seeing my daughter learn, even the little things, and I hope that feeling does not go away. I hope that I am this proud when she makes an A on her spelling test, when she does great on a book report, when she tries so hard in algebra and when she decides what career path she will take. I pray that in whatever decisions she makes in life I will see how amazing she is and will not be afraid to tell her.

To my Gracie Girl:
You are truly amazing. Your little mind is constantly working and learning new things. You are so sweet and gentle and full of smiles. You bring me so much joy I can hardly stand it.

The Big One

Gracie is one! We celebrated her birthday in style on Halloween (and it only took me a bit more than a month to post about it). It was a Baby Strawberry Shortcake themed event. It was complete with some close friends, streamers, balloons, cake, a taco bar and Nana.

This year has flown by in some ways and inched by in others. I can honestly say that it has been the most exciting year of my life. Watching a child grow right before your eyes is nothing short of a miracle and the fact that people get to do this every day still amazes me.

Gracie is turning into a regular little toddler. She is a walking pro and is getting quite fast. I can tell she grows every day because I keep having to move the breakable ornaments up a level on the Christmas Tree. She has a very sweet air about her. She is constantly feeding us and bringing me toys to play with. Her cradle roll teacher even said that she tried to calm one of the younger babies in class last Sunday while she was crying. Oh to be a fly on that wall! She is not without her moments though. She has started throwing fits by plopping to her bottom and then throwing herself back. I think it's adorable...right now. We haven't had a public outburst yet.

We, like most of you I imagine, are getting ready for Christmas. We'll be in Texas (yippeee!) in less than two weeks. Before we go we're going to do "Christmas Morning" at our house complete with the Christmas story and Santa cookies. I can't wait. I know Gracie won't understand it this year but I'm still excited. She did bring one of her wrapped presents to me this morning and got upset when I wouldn't let her open it. Maybe she understands a little bit after all. Only Gracie knows!

God is Good

God is reminding me just how good He is. He is reminding me that I cannot be a mom without Him. He is reminding me that this is what I have wanted to do for a very long time. How does he remind me? This Sunday Matt took Gracie to sit with him on the praise team for one song. While they were standing and singing she just watched him and ever so gently patted his back. She tends to do this when we carry her around. It's like her little way of thanking us for being her taxi. In that moment I remembered something that I forget too often. I remembered that Gracie is a gift. She is a blessing that we asked for and that God provided.

She is 11 months old now and she entertains me constantly. She sticks her tongue out and wiggles it which makes me smile all the time. She says "Da!" for dog. She studies her toys and puts things in and out of them. She stands but only when she doesn't know she is doing it. She explores the kitchen and pulls all of my plastic stuff out of the cabinets. She "helps" with the laundry. She cuddles now.

She is a blessing and I am trying to remember Daily to turn that into praise.

Adventures in Eating

I was never told how much of the first year of Gracie's life would be spent on food.

In the beginning there were challenges with nursing. I'll forego the details in order to keep my readership from getting that TMI (too much information) feeling. Then we had issues with using the bottle. Then she took to baby food like a pro, every mother's dream I think. Then she decided it was beneath her. It is really gross. I wouldn't even lick my finger after testing the temperature. I would run it under the sink or wipe it off with a napkin. She probably saw me do that one too many times and caught on. She still loves the fruit but no way will she touch the veggies. For a while there all she would eat was fruit, yogurt, mum-mums and puffs.

This week, though, she is opening her mind and her mouth to new experiences. She loves seasoned green beans. She won't eat them plain. She also likes raw tomatoes. She even ate a few bites of grilled cheese. Today we tried mac-n-cheese, one of my favorites, but it was a little too slimy. She also didn't eat her tomatoes. Oh well, I feel like I've won a little battle, y'know? Like maybe this mom thing isn't that hard after all. I just laughed so hard inside my head that I started laughing out loud. I think moms, parents really, are in the same category as super heros. I mean seriously, raising another human being??

Aside from Gracie's adventures in the high chair she is chugging along like a milestone steam engine. She started clapping and can even participate in "If You're Happy and You Know it". She has graduated to the big girl tub and even enjoys the occasional bubble bath. She climbs all over the place and often balances on top of her toys. I'm thinking she might be a little gymnast. The most exciting milestone she's reached lately is using her first sign. She says "more" with her hands a lot. I think she uses it to mean, "Yes", "next please", and "puffs". She likes to think outside the box.

Note to Gracie:

You make me smile everyday. You are starting to show your little personality in so many ways. Sometimes you scream at the top of your lungs just because you're enjoying something. You get a little frustrated when I say no sometimes and are not afraid to let me know. It will probably seem like I say no a lot. That's only because I love you and I want the best for you. You'll probably hear that a lot too. :) It's so hard to express how much Daddy and I want you to be a happy, healthy, confident little girl. I think one day you'll understand though. Always remember that Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you and Jesus loves you most of all.

Nine Months

Gracie hit the nine month mark on Monday. She has officially been in this world as long as I carried her in my tummy. It's strange to think about how different those nine months were from these. I spent a lot of time during the nine months I carried her sleeping and planning. Now I spend most of my time exploring and providing. I work in a little bit of house cleaning and some errands here and there but most of my day is spent watching Gracie explore her world and providing her with all of her needs.

She has become quite the adventurer. Sometimes I put her in the living room to play and head into the kitchen to do the dishes (don't worry we have a very open floor plan) and it's so fun to listen to her make her way around the living room and eventually end up at my feet in the kitchen. I can tell she is pleased with herself as she moves around the great room because every once in a while she squeals in delight. She squeals if she catches me watching her. She squeals if Preston starts to get excited about something. She squeals at the back door. She squeals when her Daddy walks through the garage door after work. Apparently we've never been apart long enough for her to get that excited about my reappearance. :)

She really is growing up so fast. She's still a baby but now she can crawl and cruise and walk behind the laundry basket (her mower toy with the wheels is a little too fast right now). She is even starting to express herself in new ways. She can scream and pout when a cell phone, or equally coveted item, is taken away from her. She can babble in ways that sometimes sound like conversation (I'll post a video on Sunday when my Vimeo account opens up again). She laughs when we laugh. She laughs at her own little inside jokes too.

The other day I was asking Matt if he remembered when she was so tiny and her hands just flailed about. She immediately popped me in the face as if to say, "Not anymore mom!" Sometimes I miss those days. I don't miss waking up in the middle of the night but I miss when she would just lay in my arms. Now she's hard to hold on to. Even when I'm putting her down for the night she tends to want to be in her crib. Maybe she'll go through a cuddly phase eventually.

We have her nine month check up tomorrow so I'll post her stats this weekend.

Note to Gracie:

When God made you He knew exactly what He was doing. He placed you in our family because He knew Dad and I had a spot that needed to be filled. When I picture my life now there are two parts - before Gracie and After Gracie. You make the after Gracie part brighter by the minute. Thank you for making our every day brighter.