When We Pray

Oh, these babies. These babies that take the words right out of me. When my little ones are tiny I put them to bed at night and sometimes make this little sound that can only be described as a grunt. Matt heard it once and thought I was upset or frustrated about something. Understandable, since it does have a bit of "umph" to it. I had to explain to him that sometimes when I look at them all sweet and cozy and peaceful my love for them literally cannot be kept inside and sort of escapes as that sound.

Small moments in my day bring forth that sound. When Gracie, so peacefully helps her brother with something without being asked. When Evan runs to give Gracie a hug without being prompted. When a wrong choice has been made and we come together to forgive and talk about grace. When Gracie tells me about the tadpole at preschool that did not make it and how he is in heaven now but, "Don't worry because the people there are taking care of him and so is God." When we stop to pray before bed and Evan sits down and folds his hands (for the prayer that will be short and sweet so as to encourage his sitting for such an occasion without expecting too much from an 18 month old). These moments are fleeting. They are fast and I'm sure many go by without me noticing.

But then I have a week like the last few that force me to slow down and enjoy the little things. I have big things on my mind. I have struggles within me that are slowly bubbling to the surface and they cause my mind to constantly be searching for God and His will and He is bringing me to these moments. To these prayers that are uttered in between dishes and laundry and sopping wet carpets. To these moments where my love for my children reminds me of my Father's love for me.

I have no doubt He speaks to me through them. I have no doubt that the way I feel for them is only a sampling of what He feels for me. For all of His children. I so love that He reminds me of that by opening my eyes to the small moments that take my breath away.

Note to Gracie and Evan:

You are both wonderful. You are little lights that shine in my everyday. Though you are human and make mistakes, as I do, you are deserving of grace in every way. Though you are little and learning you still find ways to make me go, "Hmmm?" You keep me on my toes and you help me dance a little while I'm there. You keep me laughing and sometimes crying and always loving.