Home

Gracie is adjusting well to Kindergarten. She likes her teacher and seems to be enjoying making new friends. She likes to go everyday but only has one complaint. She feels as though she doesn't have enough time to enjoy home. She has more than once complained about not being able to play with her toys or sit and do a craft project. I know she is playing and learning at school but there is just something about being home that is good for the soul. For me it is a place to relax, recharge, regroup and prepare for going out into the world again. For Gracie it is a place to play and create and be herself.

For several months we were uprooted and I could feel it. And the kids could feel it. And, if I'm honest, we were all a bit grumpy. Now we are starting to find those roots again. We are settling in to our new home. 

I have not done much sitting still. We are quickly working to get our new place in order so that we can accomplish a few of the items on the "Prepare for baby #3" list before this sweet little girl makes her arrival. Hopefully in due time and not before. 

But today, I'm sitting a little. I'm enjoying hearing Evan play in the basement. I'm enjoying the organizing we have done and fully confident we will get to the rest in time. I am basking in the peace that the Lord has provided in the midst of all these boxes and bubble wrap. I am thanking Him for the blessing of home and all the love it is filled with.  

New Life

It's been a strange year filled with Mountains and Valleys. I feel like it really got away from me. As though, for most of the months since my last post (nearly a year ago) I have been sort of floating along on a high or trying desperately to stay above the water in a low.

In October, as we beamed over our children, we decided that we just might be crazy enough to add to our little bunch. We were blessed with two pink lines fairly quickly. By December we knew our family would be growing and then before Christmas our second little angel made his way to Heaven. As often happens with miscarriage I sunk pretty low. I was able to see purpose in God's plan this time and I trusted ultimately in His timing for our family. But that didn't keep me from feeling sad. From experiencing the grief that comes with loss. I stayed above the water. God held me above the water. He brought good work in to my life in the form of family management. I really started to enjoy my kids and my home and just working every day to serve those around me. We decided that we would embark on the journey of selling our home and buying a new one which kept me busy and mostly sane as we continued to trust God for His timing in growing our family.

And then again we started to feel the joy of new life. The excitement of an addition to our family. The excitement, though, that comes post miscarriage. Cautiously optimistic. Praying without ceasing. Hopes high but not too high.

We are over that hump now. This new little sister has abundant life and likes to make me aware of her presence every time I sit still. It is a beautiful feeling. Life, abundant. I often think about whether or not I will get to see my babies faces in Heaven one day. Will I know that I am, in fact, a mother of five there? Or will the Glory of God overcome me and all the things of this world pass from my memory so that all I can do is look on Him? I'm not sure. Either way will be okay with me. Either way I imagine my arms will be stretched wide either in praise to my Father in Heaven or in a hug so big that all of my sweet babies will fit within my embrace. I hope it's both. I really hope it's both.