School Supplies

My sweet Ada is so excited for kindergarten. She tells everyone we talk to that this is her year. She is ready to buy a backpack and school supplies. I am excited too. But I'm also weepy. Not for the normal "my last baby is off to school" reasons but because I am so sad that her year is covered by Covid. Right now our district is still planning to open in three weeks with face masks and social distancing. That could change though. No matter how we go back to school we won't get to do the normal first year of school things. No meet the teacher night, no ice cream social. We will put her on the bus on the first day of school and send her off. I love our schools. I have no doubt her teacher will be amazing and will make this transition as easy as possible given the strange circumstances. But my heart is still aching for what she will miss.

I texted a friend yesterday to ask her how she was and we chatted about the uncertainty we are all facing. She's not sure how many of her classes will be online and it keeps changing often. I shared my anxieties about the school year for my kids. I told her I have been repeating to myself, "Be still and Know..." but that my mind was having trouble settling into it. Then I sent something to her that really was a reminder to myself. I said, "The not knowing is hard. The older I get the more I want things to be in line. To know ahead of time. Which means I need God's peace even more. As it should be, right? If it was all easy and good we wouldn’t know we need a peace bringing, life giving, soul saving savior." The Spirit spoke to my soul in that moment and brought a sense of peace. I don't have to know exactly what this year will look like. It doesn't have to look like it did for my first two kiddos when they went off to kindergarten. 

Today I am resting on the bright side. Gracie said at the table last night, "Ada will always remember her kindergarten year." Maybe it's a blessing she will have a different experience. Evan will be on the bus with her. They will share a seat. He will show her the ropes like the great big brother he is. Today I'm reading this scripture with a greater peace in my soul "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10.”  Today, I am trusting that He is with all of us. Even my sweet little baby Ada. Today, we are buying school supplies.