Thirty

Thirty seems like a lot of years. When you are young thirty seems old. Then you make it to thirty and you realize that thirty just scratches the surface.

By the grace of God I am exactly where I wanted to be at the age of thirty. I'm not the kind of person who makes lists about what I want my life to look like in five or ten years. However, in approaching this milestone birthday I've been doing a lot of contemplating about my life. Every way I look at these thirty years they have been amazing. 

I have been blessed with parents who love me unconditionally and support me in everything I do. I have a brother who, I'm pretty sure, doesn't think I'm a bratty little sister anymore. He married a woman I am proud to call a sister who has given me one beautiful niece and two handsome nephews. I met the man of my dreams my last year of college and still managed to eek out a degree without dropping out to elope. My mother-in-law and father-in-law are easy to love. Matt's sister and her husband are so fun and have given us two beautiful nieces. I have countless friends who have helped me to have a blast for thirty years.  

I always say that God knew exactly what He was doing when He put me and Matt together. It was no accident that we met even though Matt had just graduated and I had a year and a half of school left. Our vision for this life is identical. It is the reason why I have been able to stay home to raise our two most important little blessings. When I left for college I knew that what I really wanted to be was a wife and a mom. Today I am a wife. Today I am a mom. Tomorrow I will be thirty and my life looks exactly the way I pictured it back in the days when I had time to picture the future. Some of the road was bumpy but I would not change a thing because it got me to this place. This place where life is busy and sometimes hard but at the end of the day when that little girl and that little boy smile at me I remember that this is exactly where I want to be. 

Simple Prayers

Praying with your child is a sweet thing. It's kind of like a roller coaster too. In the beginning Gracie was eager to listen to us pray. Then she started participating with her sweet little sentiments here and there. Then she started refusing to pray. What parent finds comfort in the fact that their child doesn't want to talk to God? Definitely not this one.

I decided that pushing the prayer was not a good thing. I could not make her talk to God and I really shouldn't. Instead I started making the prayers simple. I would ask her if she wanted to pray and then when she said, "no" I would say a simple prayer for the both of us.

Recently we have started asking her before bed what she wants to thank God for and she has responded wonderfully by choosing something different most every night and eagerly thanking God for it. It's simple, it's sweet, but it's so genuine. Matt and I also choose something to thank Him for and we take turns saying our simple prayers. Occasionally we will pray for the needs of someone else or for our family but mostly we give thanks.

One night while Debbie (my mother-in-law) was in town last week we asked Gracie if she wanted to say the prayer. She did.

We all held hands and she sat on her knees in her chair, closed her eyes and said, "Thank you God for Jesus, for this food and for everything in my life."

That was the prayer of a three year old. A prayer that pleases God. A prayer that makes a Mother break down at the dinner table because her little girl is starting to get it. She is starting to understand what it is to have a thankful heart. To appreciate Jesus and food and everything! I know she doesn't understand the depth of sacrifice that was experienced on the cross. I know she doesn't understand the miracle of a risen savior completely. But she knows to thank God for all the things she does know. And she knows Jesus.

Baby Moments

One week from today Evan will be six months old. This half-year feels like a blip on my timeline. It's a good thing and a bad thing. Good because we are mostly past the "every night is a sleepless night" phase. Bad because I know this time around just how special and fleeting these baby moments are.

 Evan is a happy baby. He has a smile for everyone. He is content most of the time and doesn't really cry unless he's very mad. He communicates more in grunts that cries when he wants something in his environment to change. He is becoming very cuddly. He leans into me and does this thing where he chews on my shoulder. It must feel good to his budding teeth. My shoulders are always wet and I kind of love it. This sixth month has been a busy one. He has officially rolled both tummy to back and back to tummy. He is very good at back to tummy but not so good at tummy to back. This frustrates him because he doesn't really enjoy being on his tummy. We went on his first plane ride and he did great. In Texas he got his first tooth and then when we got home he quickly got his second one. He can sit by himself for a few minutes before he tumbles to the side or backwards. He sits up so well that he can now sit up in the toddler tub and splash to his hearts content. It's funny though because he doesn't really smile and giggle about the water. He seems so determined to get whatever toy is in front of him or to explore the water he is in that he remains very serious. He has started talking more and using new sounds. Just today he woke up saying, "o, wo, wo." His baby voice is so sweet.

I try to record these baby moments so I won't forget them. I pray they stay in my mind forever.

 Note to Evan: I love you little guy. I can't believe you are almost a half a year old! You have brought me joy that I can not explain. I hope I can remember all these special little baby things so that I can tell you the stories of you one day. So that you will understand just a little about what it is like to be your Mommy. God has smiled on me little man and in His smile I see blessings like you.