To the Mailbox!

We had some uncharacteristically warm weather here the past couple of days. It was in the mid 50s to 60s. This of course prompted a couple of trips outdoors since Gracie is 3.5 months old and does not have much fresh air under her belt.

We hiked all the way to the mailbox at the end of the driveway twice and spent about 10 minutes exploring the back porch with Preston. This was between wet spells since the warm weather brought a lot of rain and wind with it. While exploring the pond in the backyard we found that Jaws, one of the koi fish we bought a couple of summers ago, did not survive this winter. Poor guy was floating belly up. I'm glad Gracie's not old enough to remember it. We have yet to see if Miles, the other koi, is still living.

Gracie is fully recovered from her bout with bronchiolitis. She no longer coughs or wheezes in the slightest. She has not, however, found her way back to sleeping ten hours at night which is making me a bit weary. I've decided the hardest part of being a mom is not the physical stress but the mental game of it all. I'm constantly thinking, "Should I let her cry or pick her up? Should I try and get rid of the 5 am feeding or let her do it on her own? Should I make her nap in her crib or let her sleep in the swing?" These times are when I really wish babies came with instruction books. I'm really good at following instructions. I've read several books about babies but not one of them says, "Do this." This stresses me out.

I'm anxious for our four month check up in a couple of weeks because I have a laundry list of questions to ask the doctor. Until then I'll just do whatever feels right and pray I'm not doing something wrong. At least I know she's a happy baby. Whenever her face lights up all the questions just go away and I bask in the sunshine that is her smile.

I've posted more photos and videos on our media sites.

Home Sweet Home

We're home! Yesterday morning the doctor took Miss Gracie off of the oxygen to see how she would do. Her numbers were still lower than normal but nothing to be worried about. We were thinking we'd get to come home then but they wanted to monitor her for 24 hours to make sure she'd do fine without it. I did not like that hospital room but if I had to live there for the rest of my life in order for Gracie to be well I would.

She did well all night and this morning at about 9 the nurse checked and she was at 100 percent! The nurse said, "I think you've just earned your walking papers." Apparently we won the award for the longest stay and the first discharge of the day. Yippee!

Gracie is still coughing and not exactly her old self again but she is doing so much better. She's even back to her smiling/cooing ways. It's kind of funny though because she can't hit the high squeal notes right now because she's still hoarse so it just comes out as a small breath of air. She's also having trouble eating because she's still struggling with breathing. The doctor said that it could take about a month for the coughing and congestion to subside and for her breathing and eating to be completely normal. I really hope it doesn't take that long. I just put her to bed in her crib. She had to go down with her paci which is not normal. That's one way I know she's not feeling quite up to par. I'm getting to know her better everyday which basically means that I love her more everyday.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for Gracie. We really appreciate all of the support from family and friends. I don't know how people without a strong support system get through things like this.

I'm looking forward to being able to post about some more upbeat things like her first "reach" and rolling over before too long.

Getting Better

It appears as though Gracie is over the hump. Yesterday morning she was still really pitiful. She wasn't eating and I was beginning to get really worried. She was on IV fluids to avoid dehydration but still wasn't getting any nutrition because she hadn't eaten. She slept in my arms and Matt's arms all morning and at about 3 o'clock after a diaper change she woke up ready to eat. I was so glad! She's been doing pretty good eating since then. She still has trouble because she can't breath very well through her nose while she nurses but it's better than nothing. They took her off of the IV fluids this morning but she remains on the Oxygen. The doc came in this morning to see how she did off of the oxygen but her levels were still too low to remove the line completely (low 80s). She's on the lowest level possible and will just take time to be able to get the oxygen pumping in her system the way it should.

She's been awake quite a bit more today which is good and bad. Good because it means she's getting better and bad because it means she's awake and now knows that she doesn't feel well. She tries to tell us but the poor thing has such a hoarse throat that it pretty much comes out as a tiny whimper.

For those of you wondering about Preston (poor guy takes backseat to Gracie now which is not something he's used too) he's been staying with some friends from church. They have a dog and three kiddos and apparently he's doing great with all of them. Jennifer sent us a picture of him all curled up in a blanket with nothing but his face showing. I'm glad to know he can make himself comfortable pretty much anywhere.

Thanks to everyone For all of your prayers and for all those who took time to visit. It really helps to know we have so many faithful friends and family who care about Gracie so much. She will definitely hear all about this one day. Please keep praying for a speedy recovery for her. Also, I've got a cold now (probably the same one she had) so please pray I don't pass it back to her and get this whole thing started again.

We're not sure if we'll be able to go home tomorrow. It will greatly depend on how she does when the doc removes her oxygen again. Until then you can reach us at Community North Hospital room 1224. :) Hey, it could be worse, right?

Happy Gracie

Matt and I are ready for Happy Gracie back.

The IV stick went really well yesterday. Matt said she didn't even cry and actually fell asleep while the lady was digging around in her hand for a vein. Apparently they put a little sugar water on her paci and in an infant this young it really helps them not feel the pain. I'll have to google that when I get a chance.

She woke up much better this morning. Still pitiful but better. She has a lot less mucus intruding her airways and has had a little bit of awake time (we're talking 10 minutes tops). She even smiled at me and Matt once or twice. Usually she smiles every chance she gets. Especially when I make pooting noises. She's still having trouble eating and is still on the oxygen. The doc said that we will most likely be here until Saturday. They removed her oxygen to attach a humidifier and in the 20 seconds it took to hook everything up her oxygen levels dropped. That means she'll need to be weaned off of the oxygen. The encouraging thing about this whole situation is that the doctor says it is all very normal. Well, not normal, but what they expect to see in an infant as young as Gracie.

Because of all the wires she's hooked up to I haven't had much holding time. I'm experiencing Gracie withdrawals and sleep deprivation which does not make a very happy Kelly. Please pray for Gracie to get better quickly and to feel more like herself. Please pray that Matt and I can get some sleep and have the chance to play with our Happy Gracie soon.

Note to Gracie:

You smile and my heart melts. All I want is to make you better but I know that only God and time can do that. So I will keep praying and trust that God is giving you pleasant dreams while you sleep. I love you!

To Get My Mind Off of Things

I'm writing this post to try and keep my mind off the fact that my baby girl is having an IV put in right now. Matt went with her to the "Treatment Room" for the procedure. My plan isn't working...I can't stop thinking about how much the IV hurt me before my C-section and I can only imagine how much it will hurt her dainty little hand, arm, foot or head (let's pray they don't have to resort to the head).

This is Gracie's second night in the hospital. She came down with a virus on Saturday and when we went to the pediatricians office on Monday they sent us to the hospital when the breathing treatment they administered didn't seem to help. The doctors here say that it's going around. They're treating many kids with the same problem, bronchiolitis. In a baby as little as Gracie the mucus that is generated from a virus clogs her bronchioles causing very labored breathing and subsequently low oxygen levels. The whole thing is causing her to not have much of an appetite (I don't ever have one when my stomach is full of mucus either) so they're worried about dehydration. So my poor little 12 weeks old is on oxygen and and IV. I feel for any parent who has ever had a child in the hospital. It is heart wrenching. She has hardly opened her eyes today and just sounds pitiful. She's too exhausted to cry out even. She just coughs and moans and groans.

Keep us in your prayers. We all need lots of rest and a full recovery.

Note to Gracie:

I cried when I saw how pitiful you looked in your little metal hospital crib. You looked so tiny with the oxygen tubing and big hospital sleeper on. They only had blue so I thought seriously about putting a bow on your head but decided it really didn't matter. :) Remind me to tell you about your E.T. toe one day. I love you so much and pray that you never have to go through anything like this again. Ever.

She's a Thinker

Gracie is now almost 10 weeks old. She has changed so much since I last posted. It seems as though every day holds some new way in which she makes me smile. It also makes me a little sad that I have a hard time remembering those first few weeks in the hospital and at home as a brand new family of three. I told Matt the second week she was home that I wasn't sure I wanted to go through it all again. Now I'm sure that I would do this again in order to allow her the chance to have a brother or a sister.

Those first few weeks when things seemed so hard flew by so fast that I almost wish I could go back and focus more on all the little things. I feel like I can't take enough pictures or make enough notes about all the milestones she's reaching. How can something so tiny bring so much joy to my life?

If I wrote all of our happenings out in paragraph form this would probably be the longest post ever (and it's already pretty long) so I'm going to list them.

First smile
First time to sleep 6 hours
First time to decorate a Christmas Tree
First road trip (to Louisiana and then Texas) to meet the entire family
First blow out (on the road to TX)
First laugh (at the dogs on Grammy's back porch)
First splash in her baby tub
Lots of smiling and talking with Mom, Dad and the whole family
First time to see the outdoors for more than five minutes (it's too cold her in Indy to get out much)
Slept nine hours in one night (just happened last night)
She's bringing her hands to her mouth to suck on them quite a bit, I'm expecting her to really find them soon
She's enjoying playing on the floor and can even entertain herself for a bit, Granny said she looks like she's directing traffic the way she flails her arms and legs, does that mean she'll be a leader one day?
Napping in her papasan while Mom showers
Napping in her swing while Mom blogs :)


We go to the doctor for her two month check up tomorrow. I'm excited to see how much she weighs and how long she is. She's already in 3-6 month sleepers! I have a feeling she'll be tall. Her hair is still red (especially in the sunlight) and her eyes are still blue. We've got a good little routine in which she eats and then stays awake for about an hour and then goes down for a nap. Sometimes she naps on our lap and sometimes in a swing or a papasan. She really doesn't like to sleep in her crib during the day. She has a bath around 9:30 and gets her last meal of the day at 10 and falls right to sleep after that. Of course, she has a few off days here and there like any baby (or adult for that matter).

I am continually amazed at how fast she is growing and how much she seems to be learning. I am always wondering just what she is thinking and I am convinced that she is a thinker. The new picture to the right is one of those moments that she looks like she is in deep thought about what is going on around her. We were all on the back porch at my parents house and she was enjoying the warm weather and cool breeze. She was watching the dogs and just a few moments before this photo was snapped she laughed for the first time. She is probably thinking about all the new things she is seeing and hearing and smelling.

In a few years she'll be thinking about all the things she can learn from the people around her. And a few years after that she'll be thinking about what she wants to be when grows up. And a few years after that she'll be thinking about how to make those dreams come true. My prayer is that through all of those years she will be thinking about what she can do to make this world a better place for someone else. Even if it's just one person at a time. My prayer is that God helps Matt and I guide her to those thoughts.

Note to Gracie:

Gracie girl, I am so blessed to be your mother. You make me smile absolutely every day! I can't wait see the light in your eyes and the joy in your smile when you experience all of God's blessings in this world. I am excited to share so many firsts with you and I pray that the wonder of this world does not fade as you get older but that you find new blessings every day. I love you Gracie Girl!

Four Weeks!!

I can't believe that Gracie is 4 weeks old today. About a week ago I was telling Matt that I'm not sure if this has been the longest few weeks of my life or the shortest. Now I'm determined that time is going by way too fast. Gracie is definitely getting bigger, she's starting to make more noises besides crying and she's alert a lot more.

She is starting to take her world in and it is neat to see. She likes to look at everything while she's awake. The neatest thing she does now is look at me and Matt. She can focus on our faces and I'm pretty sure she recognizes them. She also recognizes our voices and will calm down if she's crying and we call to her to let her know we're coming.

This is what her first month has looked like:

Two glorious weeks of Grandparents :)
One ride in the car to drop them off at the airport
A move from mom and dad's room to her nursery
One trip to Target
One trip to Walmart
Two trips to church
One trip to the Sellers (some friends from church)
One trip to the Ferguson's for Thanksgiving
One Aggie game on TV
Lunch at Don Pablo's
Several visitors
Lots of peeing on mom and dad
Her first bath in which she didn't sob the whole time
Time on her play mat
Lifting her head while she's on the mat
Lifting her head while she's looking over mom's shoulder
A few bottles (one from dad)
Lots of eating
Lots of sleeping
Lots of burping and some spit up
Lots of kisses and hugs from mom and dad
endless love growing in our hearts

What's on tap for this month:
Decorating the Christmas tree
Road trip to Louisiana and Texas
Meeting the rest of the family
Especially her Cousins (Brady and MacKenzie)

I have posted lots of pics on flickr page and have now started to take video too. The videos are all on my Vimeo page.