This Earth

Winter is turning to Spring here in Indy. It's happening quite early this year. We've already worn shorts a few times. Last year it didn't warm up until June, literally.

I always enjoy spring. When I was little it was because my birthday is in May. And it meant school was coming to a close for the Summer. I still enjoy it for those reasons but now it means a lot more. It's amazing to see all the new life budding forth. To see the flowers start to bloom and the birds start to sing. A couple years ago we had a robin's nest in our backyard and when the mommy and daddy bird were out hunting we would sneak a peak at those little blue eggs. I would hold Gracie up to see them and even at that young age she saw that those eggs were new life. Babies just waiting for their spin on this earth.

This Earth. Gracie must be learning about Earth at preschool because right now she can identify a picture of the Earth and she knows we live on it. She still asks where Earth is and where on this Earth we live. Questions I can answer but that cause a glazed expression to cross her face. And then the other day she asked this one, "Where is God on this Earth?" I responded, "He's everywhere." She asks, "Is he in all our tummies?" She knows Jesus lives in our hearts and that Evan was in mommy's tummy. I guess she's just trying to figure the God thing out. But hey, aren't we all?

Before Gracie could speak I started asking her a very simple question, "Who made Gracie?" And I would answer, "God made Gracie!" It was very exciting for her then and very exciting for me the first time she answered with a simple, "God." I don't always have the answers to her questions. I'm sure she will stump me over and over again. I do know who made her though and I will spend my life trying to teach her that she has purpose. That God made her to love Him. That He offers us hope because He loves us. That's what I see in Spring. New life given by the God that offers new life to us everyday, literally.

Four Months

Our little man is four months old today. He is a bundle of joy. A very big bundle of joy.

Evan is a sweet boy. These four months have flown by and we are finally starting to live within a predictable routine again. He is eating on a schedule and sleeping well (when he's not sick or on antibiotics). I am starting to feel somewhat normal again though his nap schedule keeps me living as a hermit most of the time. We get out and about after his 10:30ish feeding and are back home for his 1:30ish feeding. Then the glorious hour from 2:30 to 3:30 when both kids are napping (or enjoying quiet time sans mommy) arrives.

He is a very happy baby. He coos a lot and kicks a lot. He loves anything to do with his sister. She entertains him by just being in his line of site. He is starting to grab for his toys and bring them to his mouth. He is constantly sucking on his hands and has even found his thumb to suck on now and then. He is starting to sit in his bumbo and because of that he can sit with the family at the table during meal time. We just got the exersaucer out of storage yesterday and he is a pro! When we first put Gracie in it we had to put books underneath so she could reach the ground but this little man is already tall enough for it!

We go in for our official four month well check next week and then we will start him on cereal. We're hoping to go visit family next month to show off all his new skills and cuteness. That will mean a plane ride with two kids in tow. Pray for us. Raising kids sure is an adventure.

The Best Big Sister

Towards the end of my pregnancy I started to think about how life was going to change for my little girl. We always planned to have multiple kids. Matt and I both have one sibling and I can't imagine life without a brother to share it with. That didn't make it any easier to think about how my little girl's world was going to be altered. She was no longer going to be the only one who needed my lap to sit in, my hand to hold or my attention to claim. I knew it was going to be good for her. It's a real world lesson in sharing and humbling yourself to allow others to be more than you (a very biblical principal, see Luke 14:7-11). She was going to have to give up her "place of honor" for a little man she didn't even know yet. I worried what her reaction would be and how I would have room enough in my lap (read: my heart) for two little ones.

I can tell you that there is room enough. My heart is twice as big now because I have twice as much love. I love these two kids equally and want, so much, to be the best mom for both of them. I will not always be able to provide them with equal time as their needs change and our lives adapt to new routines but they will always have equal love.

I must brag on my baby girl here and say that she has done a wonderful job of making herself lower so that Evan can have the front row seat for a time. Don't get me wrong, she's not perfect and she is three after all. But she has shown great love to her baby brother. She is constantly going to get toys for him to "play" with and a pacifier in case he cries. She always lets us know when he needs something. I even overhear her telling him that she loves him occasionally. Those words are music to a mother's ears. She has acted out against her father and myself because she wants more hugs and more one on one time but through it all she has not taken that out on her little brother. When I was pregnant many friends told me that Gracie would be so much bigger the instant I held Evan in my arms. Not only does she look bigger to me now; she acts bigger too.

They really do grow up too fast. Evan is one lucky little guy to have such a great big sister. I hope they grow up to be friends.

Note to Gracie:

I know you are having to sacrifice a lot of mommy and daddy time now to your little brother. I know you need more hugs and kisses and I am trying very hard to provide that for you. I am so proud of how you are growing up. I am so proud of how much you love your little brother. You will be good friends one day. You will laugh and share memories together and that will make me smile. :)

One Year

One year used to seem so long. As a kid it was an eternity. In high school it was endless until summer came. In college it started to speed up about the time when the serious decisions about my future needed to be made. After marriage it started to become hard to believe that it had already been a year and then two and then...

Then we had a baby. Years go by in what seems like the blink of an eye now. I wrote my last blog post about a year ago and although so much has changed it has gone by so fast.

We are a family of four now. The Lord saw fit to bless us with a beautiful baby boy. Evan Matthew Dean was born on November 9, 2011. He was 7 lbs 15 oz and 20.25 inches long. He is growing so incredibly fast and now (at three and a half months) weighs in at about 17 lbs! He is a content little guy and loves to lay out and watch the family living life around him. He squeals a lot and smiles so big. He makes this stretching face when I pick him up from a nap. He throws up his arms, draws his feet up, leans his head back and pushes out his lips. I love it so much. He has this way of looking at me with those beautiful brownish eyes when he is sitting on my lap after a feeding. He has his head down like it's just too heavy to hold up and then he lifts just his eyes to meet mine and grins so big that my heart feels like it might explode from all the love it has for him. For Gracie. For my little family.

I am so tired. I am so overwhelmed. I am so grateful. I am so blessed. I am so wishing that this year does not fly by so quickly. That this year I can be a great mom to the two little people the Lord has entrusted to me. That I can take time to enjoy the little moments that make this job great and that the little moments that make it hurt will pass quickly and not linger. That this year I can lean on the One who created motherhood and know His plans are great.

Not to Evan:

I love you little man. More than you will probably ever know. I am sorry that you are already experiencing the second child syndrome in the form of fewer photos, less blog posts, and a really exhausted mommy. But I am not sorry that you have a big sister who adores you, that the important moments are etched into my mind if not a photo and that you have made my heart grow with love so abundant that I can't imagine our family without you. Grow slowly little man. You will be big before we know it. :)

The Wisdom of a Two Year Old

Tonight at bedtime we finished our routine by singing "God Has Smiled on Me."

Here are the lyrics we sing:

"God has smiled on me
He has set me free.

You know that God has smiled on me
He's been good to me."

Here is the dialogue that followed the song:

Mom: "Has God smiled on you Gracie?"
Gracie: "Yes!"
Dad: "What does God's smile look like Gracie?" (while grinning very large)
Gracie: "Jesus!"

She said Jesus Y'all! Oh, that we would all have the great wisdom of a two year old. :)

A Toddlers Prayer

I was just thinking last night that I needed to write something. Occasionally I feel a little guilty that I am not keeping up with this blog as often as I had hoped. I guess that's the life of a Mom for you. Make plans and promptly have them changed either by myself or one of the people I take care of everyday. I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

Tonight Gracie gave me something to write about. Wonderful how the good Lord works, isn't it? We were going through our normal bedtime routine (we find routines work well with our two year old). Two stories, a song and prayer. We let Gracie pick the order of the song and prayer because it makes her feel like she has a say in what goes on in her day to day world (wow...that is a devotional waiting to be written about how alike a toddlers life is to ours when we truly see God for the father He is to us, but I digress). She picked song first (Jesus Loves the Little Children) and then a prayer. We are in the habit of asking if she wants to pray or if she would like us to pray. Tonight she wanted to. She always needs help so we tend to get her started with Dear God and then ask her what she is thankful for. She typically says things like Mommy, Daddy, Preston and Jesus. She has recently started adding to the list with books, toys, lights, and other things that she sees. Tonight God stirred me using her words. She said, "Daddy's hand and other one hand, Mommy's hands. Daddy's head, forehead, eyebrow and other eyebrow, eyes, nose, mouth and chin. Amen" She did this while sliding her hands down across his face. Saying all the names of the parts with a genuine gratefulness. Not the typical naming parts of the body game but a quiet conversation with God about how thankful she was for her Daddy...all of him.

I, of course, was quietly crying and laughing at the same time truly enjoying what I was seeing take place. I am so grateful for this little girl who has brought such joy to our lives and who continues to amaze me everyday. I am going to take a lesson from my two year old and remember to thank God for the little things on a daily basis.

Endearing

I am reading through a devotional book called "Out of the Spin Cycle" by Jen Hatmaker. It's been a wonderful way to turn my focus to the Lord and His ways every day. If you are a young mom and on my Christmas shopping list then you can expect to be receiving one soon. :)

Today I read the devotion "Today is Tomorrows Yesterday." She is bringing back the focus to today and away from the typical, "I can't wait until __________." At the end she asks, "What is the most endearing about the stage your child is in?" So here goes:

Gracie is almost two. In 20 days she will be my 2-year old. No more months. Just years. So far every stage has been my favorite (well, maybe not the middle of the night feeding stage but I've almost forgotten that already).

Right now she is talking a lot. She is forming little sentences and phrases. Only they come out slow because it's very new for her. She says, "Apple.........juice" and "yes............mommy." I want to stop and say, "Wait for it, wait for it" every time she starts the phrase. She's asking questions like, "daddy, go?" and "more, plane?" Inflection in a two year olds voice has got to be something the angels created. It just sounds so sweet. "gacie, too!"

She's also started singing. It started with the cleanup song and last night as we were getting ready for bed she sang Jesus Loves Me with us. She didn't just listen she sang! It only ended up being every fourth word or so but it was sweeter than honey to my ears. Maybe hearing your children sing is just a little glimpse of what God must hear when we are lifting praises to Him.

She has joy. That might be what endears me most to this stage of her life. She has joy the likes of which we should all have. And I think it's for the same reason. I think she knows her creator. That she has been born into the will of the One who created everything. As we all have. I pray that she chooses to accept the salvation He offers and the Joy that comes with it one day. "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit." Psalm 51:12